Groundhog Day, The Sequel

The Blackmores Running Festival was held in Sydney last Sunday, and with it, the half marathon that rain, hail or shine, I was going to run, stumble, walk or crawl to cross the finish line, as you might remember. I was so looking forward to running across the Harbour Bridge, finishing up down at the Sydney Opera House, collecting my medal, and ticking an item off my 30 by 30 list.

I think I severely under-estimated just how much of my time would be required in taking on three units for my final study period of university, on top of my full-time job. I would battle through 10-hour days in the office, drive home, set myself up with my journal articles and my MacBook, work on essays through until around 1am, finally fall into bed to sleep, only to wake up and repeat again the next day. Weekends involved trying to juggle essay writing while babysitting Niece and Nephew Posy.

Thirteen weeks, three units, twelve essays.

Mr Posy picked up the cooking (it felt like there was barely time to eat, let alone time to make dinner as well!) and cleaning duties, my sporting commitments fell by the wayside, I got behind in all my television shows, I couldn’t remember the last time I opened a book to read for fun and not for an assignment, and my friends started to forget what I looked like.

I’m not sure when I thought I was going to train for a half marathon.

I handed in my final essays for the study period a fortnight ago, today. I can’t even describe the overwhelming sense of relief, the delirium, that I felt when I pressed the ‘Send’ button for the last time.

By the end, I was up to three coffees a day (from my usual once a day, only in the morning routine), and it was still a struggle to keep my eyes open. I was wrecked.

Now, I’ve had two weeks with so much ‘spare’ time, and I feel a little bit lost. I’ve found myself researching Masters programs, downloading training plans for a half marathon, searching vendors and suppliers for our wedding next year, and coming into work on weekends.

This not-studying-thing is going to require some getting used to. In the meantime, I need to decide on a new half marathon race to run…

Groundhog Day

Do you ever feel like every day is Groundhog Day? Lately, I’ve felt like I’m living the same day over and over; like every day is the same as the last. I’m not exactly unhappy – but I am suffering a mad case of ennui.

I know that we’ve not long finished off the Christmas ham, and that we’re all dusting off our party shoes to bring in a new year, and that I should be buzzing with energy and excitement. But I’m not.

For the past few months, I’ve had dreams most nights of chopping off my hair, and at my next hair appointment in January, I plan to do exactly that. Such a plan would have previously been panic-inducing, but currently, the thought of it is exhilarating. Freeing. Change has always been a major source of anxiety for me, but right now, I’m itching for it.

I read blogs like Fit Mumma, Meals and Miles, Skinny Latte Strikes Back, and Healthy Tipping Point, and consequently I feel… restless. I want to achieve something big. Huge, even.

For months I’ve been trying to work out what that something was, and I’ve finally decided – the Blackmores Half Marathon in Sydney on Sunday 16 September 2012. Run, walk, stumble or crawl – I’m going to cross that finish line.