Green

I’m at the “business end” of the university semester, and consequently I’ve found myself bunkered down in the uni library the  past two weekends. I’ve had a couple of assignments due that I actually enjoyed, and found myself getting carried away with searching for journal articles and later poring over them. I haven’t spent that much time on campus since I was studying for my first degree… and back then, I tried to avoid the university grounds where possible.

It got me thinking about a time when life was much simpler, even if it didn’t always seem like it at the time. My study came first, and work (nannying for a family {that I loved} during the day, and working in a cafe {that I didn’t love} at night or on weekends) was considered an optional extra (but let’s face it, it wasn’t really optional – it was a necessity).

If I had too many assignments due at once, I could swap a shift at the cafe, or study while the children I looked after were napping, or I could slam a few sugar-free red bulls as well as some No-Doz and pull an all-nighter without having to worry so much about whether I would be able to function the next day. These days, I can’t just take a personal day when an assignment is due, work always needs doing (I wish some of my clients would nap…), and if I get less than six eight hours sleep, I’m a crabby mess.

Study is such a luxury these days. Something I fit in between full-time work and domestic duties. I didn’t realise until I sat down and actually thought about it, really thought about it, how much I missed it. Missed actually studying, researching, writing; not just finishing an assignment for the sake of getting through it, but really immersing myself in it.

I feel sad that when I was at university full-time, I just wanted to get it over with; it was a means to an end. I didn’t really soak it all up like I should have, I just wanted to finish and get out into the workforce. Now that my priorities have shifted, now that work comes first, and study is an optional extra, I find myself green with envy. Envious of my younger self, envious of those who have so much more time to study than I.

I suppose the grass really is always greener, isn’t it?

2 Comments
  • Maxabella
    May 19, 2011

    I feel your pain. I remember when I was studying when I had two under 2 and was preggers with my third and holding down a 4 day a week corporate job… WHAT ON EARTH DID I USED TO DO WHEN I WAS AT UNI THE FIRST TIME AROUND AND STILL COULDN’T MAKE IT TO CLASS ON TIME? And, yes, I shouted that because REALLY WHAT DID I DO?

    Oh, I know, the answer is I played pool and drank. But still!!

    Good luck with it all! x

    • miss posy
      May 20, 2011

      I will never again complain about how busy I am. My goodness, Maxabella! You were studying with two under 2, pregnant, and you worked? You are my new hero (and it’s reassuring that maybe when I do have children, I might be able to study part-time on the side…)!

      Ha. Yes, I often wonder how I never had any time the first time round, and why did I always need extensions on assignments to get them finished. WHAT IN LORD’S NAME WAS I DOING?! Oh, that’s right. Sleeping.

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